I've
had a long, hard life.
Sometimes
that long hard life has been soul-crushingly hard.
Things
have happened to me that I don't wish on my enemies.
I've
been the victim of abuse, both as a child at the hands of my parents,
and as an adult by a woman I thought I could trust. I've been raped,
and then treated as a joke by the authorities I tried to report this
crime to. I've suffered broken bones, and lacerations. I've
contracted bubonic plague, a disease you only read about in stories.
I've seen friends die bloodily in front of me in accidents. I've had
my life all but destroyed by people I trusted with everything.
So
its safe to say that I know what "trauma" means. Trauma is
some form of horrible, damaging experience that usually involves some
sort of peril or loss that left a lasting scar, either physically or
psychologically. And personally, I deal with my own trauma by
talking to people. By writing this blog. By sharing my experience
with others.
According to a certain young lady, my entire understanding of what trauma is and is not is completely and utterly mistaken. Apparently, trauma is now defined as "anything that makes you upset". And the way to prevent forcing someone to relive "trauma" is to issue "trigger warnings". That is, a warning that certain material might contain words, themes, or ideas that trigger "traumatic memories" in people who were once upset by something. Its a way for people to avoid that which bothers them rather than having to face it and deal with it. She explained, thoroughly, that a person should be able to expect a "safe environment" where nothing 'triggers" their "trauma".
It was the stupidest thing I've heard in months.
You know, I feel for people who really went through traumatic experiences, but my empathy ends when these people demand that society change to suit their personal desire to permanently avoid ever experiencing bad memories. Its like no one ever told these crybabies that they have no right to expect that they will never, ever be reminded of a bad experience ever for the rest of their lives.
And don't think I'm making an exception for myself. I have problems. There are things that make me flash back to bad times, too. You know what, though? I'll deal. I'm a fucking grown-up, and part of being a grown-up is dealing with the pain of your life. I have never demanded that women in elevators leave so that I can ride with the men, just because the thought of being alone in an elevator with a woman terrifies me. I've never mentioned to anyone how seeing a broomstick in the hands of a woman makes my legs shaky. I do not need to get a "trigger warning" because some TV show is running a storyline dealing with domestic abuse.
You
know, my
grandparents generation fought the worst, most damaging, most
horrific war in the history of our species. When they were done,
they came home and built this country into the land of opportunity
that it was for the longest time. And they didn't do this by
walking around as if the boogeyman was going to jump out at them at
every turn. They didn't demand other people change to protect their
tender sensibilities. They just dealt with it privately, not imposing on other people, and lived their lives.
If
these people today are so psychologically fragile that they fall to pieces
over the merest mention of something vaguely related to their
"trauma", especially if their trauma wasn't actually all
that traumatic in the first place, they need to seek out serious
professional psychiatric assistance. They belong in a mental ward,
not in a college.
And
they certainly have no place dictating what other people can think,
say, and do.
How
self-entitled do you have to be to think that you have some sort of
right to dictate to other people how they run their lives? To expect
everyone around you to cater to your own psychological problems?
Seriously,
how narcissistic do you have to be?
So
again, if your past bothers you so much that you feel the need to
complain about what other people are doing or saying, then get help.
See a psychiatrist. Get over it.
Don't
try to tell other people what to do.
Just
grow up.
Deal.
Because
that's how real grown-ups handle life.
