The Breaking of a Myth

Common wisdom says that men commit the overwhelming majority of rapes.

Common wisdom is wrong.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, in 2013 (figures for 2014 have not been tabulated yet) there were 1,270,000 reported rapes in the United States.  I say "reported rapes" because only 22% of them were actually determined to really be rapes.  The rest were either proven to not have been rapes or else were not proven one way or the other.


But here is where it gets interesting:  In 2013, in addition to the 1,270,000 reported rapes, there were 1,268,000 reported cases of "made to penetrate."


Don't know what "made to penetrate" means?  That's okay, you're not alone.  Most people don't know what "made to penetrate means."


Here's the deal:  "made to penetrate" is what the people at the Centers for Disease Control and the US Department of Justice call it when a woman rapes a man.


The reason they call it "made to penetrate" instead of "rape" is because the National Organization for Women spent close to $15,000,000 putting political pressure on the government to change the official definition of "rape" so that instead of just meaning "forced sex that occurs against the consent of one of the parties", it means specifically "penetration of the vagina or anus by a body part or foreign object."


Highly convenient, isn't it, that this immediately removed most of the occurrences of rape that women were responsible for?  Oh sure, women do still commit rape, but now its only "rape" when they use a body part (like a finger, I suppose) or a foreign object (like a vegetable, or a bottle, or a dildo) to penetrate someone else's vagina or anus.  And the other kind of female-instigated rape, the kind where a woman forces a man to penetrate her, is no longer considered rape.


When the government reports rape statistics, they don't include "made to penetrate" cases.  "Made to penetrate" is included under the category "other types of sexual assault."  This lets feminists say, with a straight face, that men commit the overwhelming number of rapes.


But the numbers do not lie.  In 2013, there were 2,538,000 reports of rape (a number arrived at by adding together both the official number of rapes and the official number of "made to penetrate" cases), and women were responsible for almost half of these rapes, which they committed against men.


Don't believe me?  Here... have a graphic.  This was taken from the US Justice Department's own website.

The difference between the number of rapes and the number of "made to penetrate" cases was only 3000 reports.

Of course, the last thing any feminist wants to admit is that women commit rape at the same rate as men.  Because that destroys the myth of rape culture and the myth of patriarchy.

This Is Why I Make Such A Big Deal About Women Who Rape Men

On Facebook, I shared a link to a news story entitled "The Hard Truth About Girl-on-Guy Rape" that not only talked about how much more common it is than anyone believes, but how men who are raped by women have almost nowhere to turn for help without getting ridiculed, or having their masculinity questioned.

Almost immediately after, I received the following as a Private Message on Facebook.  I quote it in full, without editing, with the express permission of the person who sent it to me.  When I thanked him for sharing his story with me, he said, "You are welcome to use it anonymously if you wish."  I asked him if he was sure about it, and he once again said I could share the story with other people.

This is why I make such a big deal about this subject, folks.  I make a big deal about because there are men out there who have gone through this trauma (and yes, it is a trauma) but who feel they can't come forward for one reason or another, and who nevertheless who need to talk about it with someone if only so they know that they are not alone.  That there are other men who have gone through this, and that there are people who understand and who care.  That he isn't weak.  That he is still a human being and that he still matters.

And if I only reach one of them, if what I do only helps one such man, then my job here is done.

So here it is.  His story.

Thanks for posting the link to the article on The Hard Truth About Girl-on-Guy Rape.

About 23 years ago I was taken advantage of by 2 women at a party when I was too drunk to defend myself. There was a group of people around as I called out no, and no one did anything. I have never felt I could do anything about it. I was not interested in either girl, and one was underage. The next day I confronted two friends that hosted the party (a married couple), and the two girls denied knowing anything about it, saying they were too drunk to remember anything.  

It is something I don't think about generally, but seeing the article at least made me feel less like "the only guy" to have that happen.

I haven't discussed it with anyone over the years. And would not be comfortable in public (though knowing FB is not very secure format), I never even told my ex-wife during the 14 years we were together.  (I had myself thoroughly tested for STD's after incident just in case).

I was stunned by the numbers quoted in the article.

Thank you for your bravery.

The Four Most Common Ways Male Rape Victims Are Blamed For Their Own Assaults

Whenever the topic of male rape at the hands of women arises, it seldom takes long for the victim blaming concern trolls to show their hands.  What a person who hasn't been sexually assaulted feel they would do in response to being attacked in that manner is hardly evidence of anything other than their own arrogant stupidity.

There is an insidious new idea out there that is growing more and more popular with male-rape apologists:  that male survivors of sexual violence do not get victim-blamed.  For those of us who've been raped, the truth is something entirely different.  Men who are raped, especially men who are raped by women, are blamed much more often than their female counterparts.

This is not a case of "What About Teh Menz" or whatever other sexist bullshit comes to  mind.  This is an appeal to people for humane behavior.  Its a request that you refrain from promoting rape myths regarding male survivors.

Stop this.

Stop this now.

#1:  Men Are Strong (also known as "He Should Have Fought Back")

While male rape victims are not usually asked what they are wearing, or if they did something provocative that encouraged their attackers (though you should not take "not usually" as "never"), their perceived strength and supposed ability to fight back are frequently used by others to deny a rape actually occurred, especially if the rapist is a woman who the man outsizes and outweighs.

There is this ridiculous assumption among people who deny that male rape victims exist that all men have the martial arts skill of Bruce Lee, the tenacity and determination of Charles Bronson, and the cool, unflappable demeanor of Clint Eastwood.  Apparently we are all trained in combat techniques and crisis management since birth.

The truth is, most men (just like most women) will panic when placed in a position where they are about to be raped.  And most people in a panic have no idea how to respond coherently.

#2:  He Must Have Wanted It (also known as "Men Are Always Horny")

This fallacy is based on the common misconception that men are out-of-control animals who want nothing more than sex, sex, sex, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, all the time every time, and that they will never, ever turn down sex.  To put it bluntly, this is a stupid and frankly sexist assumption.  Men are just as choosy with their sexual partners as women are, and to assume they want sex just because they are male is ridiculous.

On top of the "men are always horny" fallacy is the "an erection equals consent" fallacy.  Anyone who spouts this nonsense has clearly failed biology.  Erections can be forced, and any teenage boy can tell you they happen involuntarily and unexpectedly all the time.  They aren't something men can turn on and off at whim.  In some cases, a simple touch can result in an erection.  Most adult men experience erections while asleep, and retain them after waking.  Nevertheless, there are many people out there who somehow cannot grasp the idea that a man can get hard when he really doesn't want to.


I sort of get why a woman might believe this.  After all, she doesn't have a penis, and thus has no personal experience in dealing with one except in a second-hand nature.  I get that.  What I don't get is the number of men who apparently have no idea how their own dicks work.

#3:  Women Don't Commit Sexual Violence Very Often At All

The Centers for Disease Control keeps track of official rape figures, and if you only go by those figures, you find that women make up only a small percentage of all rapists in the United States.  The problem arises from the fact that the definition of "rape" used by the CDC specifically only includes forcible penetration of the anus or vagina inflicted on the victim using an object or a body part.  That is, its only rape if one person, the rapist, forces an object or body part into the anus or vagina of another person (the victim).

Which means that the CDC intentionally excludes any act in which one person (the rapist) forces another person (the victim) to penetrate the rapist's anus or vagina with an object or body part.  Rather the CDC calls this "made to penetrate".  According to the fine people at the CDC, being "made to penetrate" is not rape, regardless of the fact that the helplessness, pain, and humiliation that the victim feels is identical to those of any other rape victim.

Cases of "made to penetrate" are not counted when its time to tabulate rape statistics.  They are, in fact, pretty much ignored.  Despite knowing that these numbers have been manipulated, deniers of male rape will parade the CDC's misleading "rape figures" as if they were accurate.  Add these misleading figures to the fact that only an estimated 1 in 6 male rape victims ever comes forward in the first place, we really have no idea how often women commit sexual violence.

#4:  Men Can't Get Raped Anyway

This fallacy is used by the densest of the densest male rape apologists of both genders.  The truth is, even if you use the CDC's misleading figures on male rape victims, there are a heartbreaking 3 million male rape victims alive today in the United States.  Don't kid yourself.  Men get raped all the time. 

Rape and the Lynch Mob Mentality

Looking around at the news today, it would seem that the entire "First World", including Great Britain, the United States, Canada, France, Spain, and so on, are fighting an all-out war on rape.  Personally, I have a zero tolerance policy for sexual assault.  Having been a victim of it, I cannot think of a more horrifying or traumatic experience anyone could go through, and the last thing I want is for anyone else to go through what I went through.


No one who isn't also a sociopath is "pro-rape", and there is no way that anyone could not support a "war on rape".  Its a common sense issue, right?  We want to stop sexual assault from happening, so hey-ho, let's go!  You've got to cheer such an effort on, right?


Well...


The problem isn't the idea of a "war on rape."  The problem is how its undertaken.  The way its pursued.  Make no mistake, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about such a thing, and by Hannibal's Feathery Hat, people are going about it the wrong way.  All the wrong way.  Its being undertaken with the same fervent enthusiasm as a lynch mob.


And folks, that's just wrong.


I want to make it clear:  I am not defending rapists.  I'm not promoting rape.  What I am doing is pointing out the problems in the way the issue is handled, because while I want to see an end to rape, I also don't want to see innocent people's lives destroyed.  Not only the innocent whose life is destroyed when they are raped, but the innocent whose life is destroyed by the false rape accusation.


So there are some things we need to stop doing, if we're really serious about finding the truth and punishing those who are the true monsters in this situation.  So here are the problems, as I see them.  Let's start with the big one.  The "live grenade" in the middle of the discussion.


Problem 1:  The Accuser is always assumed to be telling the truth.

It is a dangerous thing to have doubts about a person making an accusation of rape these days.  Especially if that person is (like in the majority of rape cases) a woman.  To doubt the accuser is to court being branded a rape apologist.  You'll be castigated for "blaming the victim.  There are a ton of support groups out there with names like "We Believe You" and "It's Not Your Fault", just ready to protect and support the accuser on the slimmest threads of evidence.


This has become so bad that even when a rape allegation is exposed as a web of lies, as in the recent Rolling Stone scandal where it turned out that rape victim "Jackie" had apparently not even had sex on the night in question, much less been raped, a writer for a prestigious national-level newspaper insists that we must automatically believe all rape allegations anyway because "incredulity hurts the victims."


So the accused is assumed guilty until proven guilty, all without the benefit of a court trial, or even an investigation into the accusation.  What's that?  "What happened to being found innocent?"  Silly child.  There's no such thing as an accused rapist who is actually innocent.  What an absurd idea, that someone could be accused of rape and then found to not have actually done what they were accused of.


Ida B. Wells, an African American journalist who lives during the late 1800s and early 1900s, once said of the lynch mobs who were murdering black men for myriad "offenses" that basically boiled down to "being black in the wrong place at the wrong time", "The word of the accuser is held to be true.  The rule of law reversed, and instead of proving the accused guilty, the accused must prove himself innocent."  The level of belief in the accuser is startling, to be honest, and the demonization of anyone who dares question the accusations is simply wrong.


What's happening now is the same thing.  Its a lynch mob mentality.  No, rape suspects aren't literally lynched, but the effect is the same.  Such people are condemned on the word of the accuser and see their lives destroyed without due process of law, and without any further confirmation of their crime.  And in most such cases, the suspect turns out to not have committed the crime in the first place.


Questioning an accusation (and I include any accusation, not just those for rape) is not and should not be taken as an attack on the virtue of the accuser.  Its simply the way our society, and the justice system that our society supports, is supposed to work.  You have a presumption of innocence and it is your accuser's responsibility to show otherwise.


I've seen it bandied about that "only 2% of all rape accusations are proven false."  This number is actually a lie; the actual percentage of rape accusations that are proven false (according to the US Department of Justice) is 16%, not 2%.  And I can hear you out there, saying, "But Jack... if only 16% of rape accusations are proven false, that means that 84% are true!"


Nope.  Again, according to the Department of Justice, only 27% of them are proven true.


For those of you who have basic math skills, you might notice that this means that only 43% of rape cases have a definitive conclusion, guilty or not guilty.  The remaining 57% are "undetermined", which means that while there is evidence that something may or may not have occurred, there isn't any evidence at all showing that the "something" in question was a non-consensual sexual encounter past the "he said, she said" (or "he said, he said", or "she said, she said") level and thus no determination can be made at all.


The lynch mob mentality says that in these 57% of cases, the "victim" is to be believed, despite the fact that there isn't any evidence supporting the claim.  Sorry, but that's not how our society works.  In our society, the accuser either makes the case, or else the accused is considered innocent of the crime forever more.


Problem 2:  The accused is protected from cross-examination.

The claim is that cross-examination is too tough, and that we need to protect the "victim" from being re-traumatized by such questions that might poke holes in her (I say her, because when its a man making the accusation, no one gives a shit that he might be re-traumatized by the questioning) story.  Activists claim that accusers who are cross-examined feel like they were "raped all over again".


This has lead to the use of special investigators by colleges who all by themselves have the power to make binding decisions regarding the college's reaction to a rape accusation.  The aim of such extra-legal "courts", in which the accused has no right to counsel, no right to appeal, and no real right to defense, is to "spare complaintants from cross-examination" and "avoid the adversarial court process."


This obsession with sparing women from cross-examination is a blatant violation of the Constitutional rights of the rape suspect.  The Constitution guarantees a right to confront your accuser, to question them, to present counter-evidence in your defense.  Something that is not permitted in these collegiate star chambers that assume the accused is guilty until proven guilty.


My question is why aren't women upset about this attitude?  Seriously, this is infantilization of the first water.  According to this concept, women are too fragile to cope with the trial process.  The very thought of a delicate flower of womanhood being forced to go into a court-room in the presence of the monster who dared violate her...


Of course, technically until the verdict is rendered, the "monster" is still an innocent person.  Perhaps that's why we don't want to have the "victim" cross-examined... there might be a chance she's lying.  And now we're back to Problem 1.


Problem 3:  Rape Culture

Fear-mongers claim that women are surrounded, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, with the threat of rape, as evidenced by the existence of Playboy Magazine and rock music with raunchy lyrics and soap operas and Lifetime Original Movies.  Women in our society are "drowning in a sea of misogyny", as journalist Laura Bates called it.


Even as the US Department of Justice figures show that the number of rape incidents are declining in this country, Feminist groups pour oil on the fire that is the panic about rape.  Rolling Stone runs a graphic and senstional story about gang-rape, online forums sprout everywhere so that women can "tell their own rape stories", memoirs are written about sexual assaults, and warnings of "1 in 5 women will be raped" (a myth that has been proven false multiple times, but somehow still won't die; the actual number is 6 in 1000) all contribute to the idea that all women, everywhere, are at risk of being raped, and that all men, everywhere, are potential rapists.


And this is blatantly not true.


Problem 4:  Women are being infantilized by the very people fighting the "rape war".

The problem with the way the "war on rape" is being prosecuted isn't just that its victimizing men who haven't done anything wrong.  The problem is also that it is patroninzing to women.  I touched on this earlier, but its true.  The assumptions regarding rape are as insulting to women as they are damaging to men.


Under the disguise of "protection of women", women are actually demeaned and treated like fragile children who are incapable of taking care of themselves.  The myth of female vulnerability, which depicts women as incapable of handling the stresses of a job, an education, and life in general without the help of others, or without special rules and regulations protecting them from these stresses, is at the core of the problem.


Why do women put up with this?  Why aren't more of them speaking out against such condecending treatment?

Why "Teach Men Not to Rape" is a Sexist Message

I don't know about anyone else here, but I've somehow missed all the "Don't rape people" classes that have happened over my lifetime, and amazingly enough, I've somehow managed to never commit a rape in my life.  Not even once.  Haven't even contemplated the idea.  I even broke up with that one rather disturbing young woman who asked me, during one particularly energetic consensual sexual encounter, to help her enact a rape fantasy, with me cast as the attacker.

Yeah, I put my pants on, walked out her door, and told her to never call me again after that.  It was disturbing.

But I digress...

My point is that the statement "Teach men not to rape" is way, way too unspecific.  The statement "Teach men not to rape!" implies that the men, just because they are men, need to be taught such a thing in the first place.  That men, all men, are potential rapists just because they are male.  To believe that half the population (the male half) is somehow biologically inclined towards rape is to enthusiastically embrace hatred for the entire male half of the human race.

The statement also ignores the existence of women who rape.  Which of course raises the question, why don't you ever see any "And while you're at it, teach women not to rape as well" messages?

The "teach men not to rape" message is a reminder to all men everywhere that they are lesser, inferior animals and that they will be tolerated only so long as they can remember to pretend to be human beings when they're out in public.  Its a warning to men that they will only be allowed to interact with society only if they can remember to not rape every female around them, or swing from the rafters, or toss their feces at random passers-by.

I have noticed something interesting though.  The same people who shamelessly display "Teach men not to rape" signs wouldn't ever, not in a million years, dream of displaying a sign that read "Teach black people to not steal."  Or "Teach Jews not to be skinflints and cheats."  Or "Teach homosexuals not to molest children."  Of course, unlike non-thieving black people, honest Jews, and non-pedophilic gays, who don't need to be publicly "educated" to not steal, cheat, or molest children -- since they don't do these things -- men apparently do need to be constantly reminded not to rape people if they're going to be allowed to walk around freely in public as if they were real human beings.

Right?  I mean, am I right?

Now there are some feminists out there who were unlucky enough to not be born female, and these unlucky males actually agree that men do, indeed, need constant reminding to not engage in rape.  They are the "good ones".  They are different.  They're the ones who somehow manage to not rape their mothers, their sisters, their daughters, female friends and coworkers... they're the trained monkeys who perform a number of predetermined tasks.

These men get to wear a special white ribbon that shows that they are tame.  They properly loathe themselves for their maleness, and will help hunt the non-conforming, wild male who, while undesired, is still kept around to do the heavy lifting and the dirty work.

I wonder.  Do you think in 50 years,  those men and women who now so blithely talk about how all men are closet rapists will look back on this period in time with pride, or will they be ashamed that they were a part of a political movement whose entire goal was the denigration of an entire gender?

Will their neighbors roll their eyes and shake their head at the harmless old bigot who still espouses the idea that men are inferior by nature?  Will they proudly fly the sexist flag, reminiscing of the good old days when they could talk about men as if they were second class citizens, physically abuse them in public without punishment, and make them the butts of sexist jokes on television without fear of repercussion?

How will their children feel?  It must be similar to how some modern Germans feel knowing that some of their grandparents and great-grandparents must have been proud Nazis.

Seriously, if someone is seriously trying to put forth the idea that men need to be "taught not to rape", then I hope what they feel in 50 years is shame.

The Myth That Would Not Die

So I wake up this morning and the first thing I see in my newsfeed when I open up Facebook is an article posted by Steve Kenson that talks about sexual harassment, rape culture, how pervasive it is here in the United States and how not enough is being done to protect women.

And surprise, surprise, not only does the article not once mention male rape victims, what the article does talk about is basically "teach men not to rape" and "teach men not to be aggressors".  The usual "men are animals that can't be trusted not to abuse women" message.

I've spoken on this topic before, and feel compelled to talk about it again.  So here goes.

We don't live in a rape culture.

We just don't.

I've shown why in previous posts:  no society that reacts with such anger and horror over rape as ours does could possibly be called a "rape culture" by anyone of reasonable mind, unless that mind has a personal agenda that benefits from the existence of such a myth.  I find it sad and pathetic that, once upon a time, the term "rape culture" referred to the trivialization of prison rape; the fact that rapes in prison were the subject of jokes and comedy.  The term has been suborned by people with a financial and social stake in convincing America that we live in a culture that normalizes, encourages, and trivializes the rape of women when the truth is we simply don't.

As I've said elsewhere, the mere accusation of rape can and will destroy the life of the man who suffers such accusation, even if that accusation isn't true.  Such a man instantly becomes a pariah, even by the people who prior to the accusation would never even consider that the man in question could possibly commit such an act.

Many Feminists like to quote the statistic that "1 in 4 women have been or will be raped" (or 1 in 6, or 1 in 3, or 1 in 5... the precise number changes depending on the speaker, and sometimes changes with the same speaker, depending on what day it is).

This "statistic" comes from a study performed by Dr. Mary Koss, professor of psychology at Kent State University.  This study was funded by the National Organization for Women and the publisher of Ms. Magazine.  The results of the study, the methodologies used, its processes, and its standards were never once submitted to peer review, were never published in any of the peer reviewed journals, and not once subjected to the same standards as every other psychological study.  On the contrary, this "enlightening" study was first published in Ms. Magazine.

Which as we all know is a well-known scientific journal.

Since the study was published, Professor Koss has openly admitted that 73% of the women that she classified as "rape victims" did not, themselves, believe they had been raped and did not, themselves, consider themselves rape victims.  43% of the women she classified as victims had, in fact, gone on to form long-term romantic relationships with their "rapists".  The editors of Ms. Magazine tried to explain this away by calling these women victims of Stockholm Syndrome.  But folks, Stockholm Syndrome simply cannot account for a percentage that high.  It simply can't.  There's just no way.

The logical conclusion, therefore, was that Professor Koss was intentionally cooking her books to support a predetermined conclusion.

When you remove the women who didn't believe they were raped out of Professor Koss's numbers, you find out that the statistic goes from 1 in 4 (or 1 in 3, or 1 in 5, depending on which day of the week it happens to be) to about 1 in 70, or about 0.14%.  Not 25% (or 33%, or 20%), but 0.14%.

Which, coincidentally, is the same percentage of prison inmates who have suffered rape.  How about that.  Men in prison are raped just about as often as women are anywhere!  Which means both suffer rape at about the same rate.  Funny how you never hear anyone talking about that.  But I digress...

It seems that it isn't society at large that is trivializing rape.  No, the people who are trivializing rape here are the Feminists.  When you constantly use a statistic that purposefully over-represents the number of rape victims, you are broadening the definition to include things that are not, in fact, rape.

Combine purposefully overstating the problem (and rape is a problem, don't get me wrong) while simultaneously promoting an anti-rape message that, one:  completely ignores the fact that women commit rape just like men do and , two, implies that the natural state of a man is that of a rapist, and its clear that the whole point of the "rape culture" message isn't so much preventing rape as it is demonizing half of the human race based on the gender of that half.  The "teach men not to rape" message is not only horribly wrong, but is utterly demeaning, sexist, and cruel.  "Men" don't need to be told that rape is wrong.  "Men" know that rape is wrong, which is why the overwhelming majority of men don't ever commit a single rape during their entire lifetime.

And trust me, we don't spending our entire lives thinking, "Rape is good" until someone tells us otherwise.  We just don't.  Most men don't even think the word "rape" unless some jackass tosses it into our face (usually by telling us how we're all horrible rapist monsters).

What makes it worse is that its an utterly useless message.  The tiny percentage of men (and women, for that matter) who are sociopathic and thus are willing to rape won't listen to it, because its not something you can educate someone out of.

A rapist is a rapist and will always be a rapist.  They're not going to listen to your "don't rape" internet meme, so the only thing you accomplish with your sexist bullshit is demonizing men who would never harm a hair on your head and who would never even think about raping you.

Its a hateful message.  Utterly hateful.

There is no justification for spreading this message.  At all.

So please stop spreading it.

If you want an example of a rape culture, please, look to the Middle East where women are literally being executed because they were raped. That is rape culture, and that is not our society.

My Thoughts on "Rape Culture" in the United States

There has been a whole lot of talk about how this country (the United States) is ruled over by a "rape culture," and that because of it, no woman is safe.

Just so we're clear, let me quote Wikipedia:

"Rape Culture is a term which originated in women’s studies and feminist theory, describing a culture in which rape and sexual violence against women are common and in which prevalent attitudes, norms, practices, and media condone, normalize, excuse, or tolerate sexual violence against women. Examples of behaviors commonly associated with rape culture include victim blaming, sexual objectification and rape-apologism."

The problem with the "rape culture" myth in this country is that it is just that:  a myth.  And the primary facet of the myth is that every single woman or girl in this country is in danger from every single man or boy in this country.  And that is just nonsense.

Now, I will openly admit to not reading every single news item that floats down the stream, and I don't watch every single talking head on cable news.  But I do try to pay attention, and I honestly cannot remember ever hearing anyone try to seriously excuse rape in this country.  Not once have I ever heard anyone try to claim that the victim of a rape deserved it.  Not ever.  Not even when the victim was a man.

On the contrary, our society portrays rape as one of the most horrific crimes that can be visited on a woman or on a girl by men and boys.  When people make light if it, they are publicly shamed for their insensitivity and thoughtlessness.

And yes, I specified women and girls as the victims and men and boys as the victimizers specifically and on purpose.  Why was I gender specific?   For a very simple reason.  The myth of "rape culture" in this country ignores the existence of male rape victims.  Completely ignores it.  Of course, male victims of rape not only actually exist despite no one talking about them, they exist in greater numbers than female rape victims.  The people who talk about rape culture as if every female human in the country is an inch away from being raped never ever mention the male victims.

Except when they're making jokes about prison, that is.

But there is a definite double-standard at play here in this country.  Think about this for a moment:  a teen-aged girl is raped by an adult man, society goes ape-shit.  We cannot get that man convicted and in prison (or better yet, executed) fast enough.  But when a teen-aged boy is raped by an adult woman, a lot of people, including people who ought to know better, start snickering to themselves and each other about how the male victim just won the lottery.  I heard one woman actually say that one teenaged male rape victim should "stop complaining" because he obviously "wanted it."

He wanted to get raped by an adult woman?  Really?  And why did he want this?  Apparently because he was male and was a teenager and no man ever turns down sex!  Didn't you know that?

It has been argued that "rape culture" produces the idea that a male victim of a female rapist "got lucky", in the same manner that it produces the idea that a female victim was "asking for it."  I don't think either attitude is systematic of the culture, because the overwhelming majority of people of either gender would consider such attitudes unacceptable if one were to ask for opinions on them.  I think, instead, what is happening is that once again a small number of assholes (again, of both genders) are being used to paint the overwhelming majority of people with a very broad brush.

The majority agrees with neither the attitude that the woman was asking for it, nor that the man was just getting lucky.  The overwhelming majority holds that rape is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can visit on another.  No one with any sort of moral sense or credibility even attempts to excuse away a rape.

That's not a "culture".  That's a logical fallacy.

Though it is interesting that the majority of the assholes who do agree with either of those sentences more often tend to agree with "the man was getting lucky" than "the woman was asking for it."  Just saying.

I mentioned jokes about prison earlier.  Here's the truth.  The number of men raped each year in prison is higher than the number of women who are raped regardless of their circumstances.

Yes, you read that right.  More men are raped in prison than women are raped anywhere.

In 2012, there were approximately 300,000 reported rapes of men in federal and state prisons across the country.  Also in 2012, there were 240,000 rapes of women, either in or out of prison, across the country.  Now, it is true that there are no hard and fast numbers regarding the number of men who were raped outside of prison, but even if it were just one man a year raped outside of prison, 300,001 male rape victims still outnumber 240,000 rape victims.  And no one ever mentions this.

And notable among the people who never mention this are the people who keep talking about "Rape Culture" as something set up to persecute and endanger women.

What's more, when a woman is proven to have made false rape allegations, our culture is quick to make excuses and protect her.  The same people who rant and rave about "rape culture" go to war to defend the woman who made the false report.  Aren't we supposed to protect victims of crime and not the perpetuators of crime?

I know this is going to come as a shock to you, but when a false rape allegation occurs, the victim is the man who was falsely accused, not the liar who destroyed that man's life.  Punishing false accusers will not discourage future rape victims from coming forward, it will discourage future liars from lying.

We don't live in a rape culture.  What we live in is a culture that says that men and boys are criminals because they are men and boys.  It says that violence against men and boys is common and acceptable.  Our culture is one in which the prevalent attitudes, norms, practices, and media condone, normalize, excuse, or tolerate all forms of violence against men and boys.  Examples of behavior commonly associated with anti-male violent culture include victim blaming, sexual objectification, rape=apologism, and false rape allegation-appologism.

The reality is, men have much more to fear from women in our culture than women have to fear from men.

No one would ever think of laughing at acts of domestic violence against a woman or a girl in a movie or television show if they want to keep their jobs, their friends, and their family.  But commercial after commercial after commercial, television show after television show after television show, movie after movie after movie all show men and boys as the proper object of cultural ridicule.  Violence and abuse against men in commercials, television, and movies is so common no one even notices it anymore, and when it is noticed and complained about, apologists leap from the woodwork to defend it.

When was the last time a man murdered his wife and children and then had his crimes excused and explained away by someone because the man in question had been abused as a child or because he suffered domestic abuse at the hands of his wife?

Never, that's when.

Remember the so-called "burning bed" defense?  A woman was acquitted of first degree murder because she said she had been so horribly abused by her husband that the only way she saw to escape the hell she was living in was by setting him on fire while he was asleep?  Lifetime Movie Network made a film about this woman.  She was played by Farrah Fawcett in what many people believed to be that actresses' greatest performance of her life.

Well about that same time that the woman was setting her husband on fire, a man was on trial for first degree murder.  He, too claimed that he was such a victim of abuse that the only way out was to murder his wife.  So he waited for his wife to fall asleep, took her gun (note, it was her gun), and shot her in the head.

The woman who set her husband on fire was found not guilty due to circumstances.  The man who shot his wife was sentenced to the electric chair.

Yeah, sounds like a culture women need to live in fear of to me... 

The pervasive fear of men in our culture is based on nothing.  It is utterly unfounded.  Its bullshit.  It is an intentionally generated product of calculated political theater and feminism, which has become an ideology of hate.  And because there are certain individuals and groups that have profited greatly from perpetuating the myth that men are evil, the myth will, unfortunately, continue.

So now comes the hard part.  Now that we have identified the problem, what do we do about it?

I think the first step is for people (all people, men and women) to realize that life is not a race to see who the biggest victim is.  This is not a "male vs. female" situation where there's only so much care and support to go around.  This is a human thing.  So understanding that neither gender has the high ground (which is a horrible way to put it, but I hope you get what I'm meaning) is the right place to start.

The second step is for people to realize that the "common assumptions" regarding gender relations in this country are, for the most part, cooked up by people who have a seriously financial state in keeping men and women at each other's throats.  I call them the "Professional Women Are Victims Industry,"  because that's basically how they make their money:  convincing women that they are victims, always will be victims, and cannot ever be independent strong human beings, while simultaneously telling men that they are monsters who should be ashamed to exist because they were unlucky enough to not be born female.

This is why I think some of the loudest and most effective voices in the Men's Rights Movement are women, despite the "feminist party line" that all MRAs are hairy-knuckled rapists and misogynists.  These women have taken a look around and seen that the "official party line" of feminism has gone from being a fight for gender equality (a goal for which me must all strive) to a fight to protect and enlarge female entitlement and privilege no matter how much doing so hurts men.

Which brings me to the third thing.

Modern feminist thought must become open to criticism without the critic being immediately lambasted with the misogynist brush.  That's a shaming tactic that needs to stop immediately.  As Carl Sagan once said, "When you are no longer allowed to ask questions, freedom of thought stops."  The idea that the only people who would question the actions and intentions of the modern feminist movement are misogynists denies the existence of women who gladly describe themselves as "anti-feminist" simply because they believe that there is no such thing as an improper question.

We need to stop living in a culture of overblown fear and artificial hysteria.